I admit it: I don’t like going out to eat. And I like my work. So almost every day at lunchtime I grab my bagged lunch, head back to my desk, and eat while I peruse a variety of work-related blogs.
The other day, an attorney wrote in to one of the management-themed blog and asked if she should let it be known to coworkers that she was, in fact, gay. She wasn’t planning to issue an announcement through the email system; she just wanted to join in discussions about say, holiday plans, and do what most of us do: we say, “Dad, Interrupted and I are heading over to Grandma’s,” or somesuch and statements like that, over time, add up to make their own news about the part where my life partner is a man. All she wanted to do was be able to say something like “Hannah and I are going to her parents’ house for Christmas Eve,” and let her own casual conversation build its own statement about her life.
Her hesitation centered around the fact that she worked with a fair number of people who identified themselves as a) conservatives and b) Christians.
Hold on, here. I’m a conservative. A moderate one, but still a registered Republican. And I am a Catholic, which certainly fall under the umbrella of Christianity. I support gay marriage and when I hear people say, “Well, it’s okay to be gay, I just don’t want my face rubbed in it” and I know that their definition of ‘face rubbed in it’ means “I don’t want to see any guys holding hands with each other in public” in an application of some sort of social “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy I just want to smack ’em. I can’t think of anything more miserable than to be in love and not be able to do the simple, small things that people do in public when they’re in love. (Of course, I don’t care if you’re straight, gay, or in love with your cell phone: any public display of a tongue is right out, because that’s neither simple nor small.)
And when I hear people assume out loud that a conservative Christian is going to shun a gay person, I just want to smack ’em, too. Because it’s illogical to assume any group of people believe exactly the same things about everything. It’s part of what we call ‘stereotyping’ and it’s as wrong to do to a conservative Christian as it is to do to anyone else.
NB: Stereotypes often have their start in real behaviors, and I would be naive if I didn’t recognize that there’s a very vocal group of conservative Christians who really would shun that gay lawyer if she let it be known, however quietly, that she was gay. I hate belonging to any club that would have people like that as members, but I can’t shake the fact that I’m still conservative and still Christian. But I can shake the part where I’m vocal, too.
© E.S. Evans 2010
Mom, Interrupted 
Spot on. Although I’m not conservative. Or a Republican. And I’m a recovering Catholic. But it’s people like you who get me to listen thoughtfully to things I don’t agree with. Because we agree on some of the big things.
AMEN! I’m socially liberal and fiscally conservative. This is America. Be responsible, don’t expect handouts, and by all means… marry the person you love! The far left is equally as hateful as the extreme right in their stereotyping. Thank you for this post.
Yeah here we go with special rights for special people. Whatever happened to universal rights that apply to everyone? After all, deep down inside aren’t we all special special snow flakes?
The beauty of liberated society is that everyone is liberated. What is the point of making some people more liberated or more protected than others if it isn’t to make a mockery of the very rights we take for granted? Perhaps the only way some of us can appreciate our God-given rights is when they are debased and squandered.
You want to hold hands in public, find someone willing to hold hands with you. If you’re looking for more outrageous public displays of personal affection then you risk public commentary and (if you’re lucky) public condemnation. After all you’re doing this in public presumably for public consumption and the public may not care if you’re happy. Perhaps most offensive is that people won’t pay your inappropriate PDA anymore attention than they will say your car alarm going off.
So just what exactly are gay rights and how do they differ from not-so-gay rights? I hear gay marriage thrown around a lot and certainly we all hope marriage is a happy union, but is marriage a right at all? If it is then why does the government license it as it does other ‘privileges’?
No right is licensed, only privileges are licensed. The state may license your driving privilege and issue a license for the privilege of transacting business, but there is no license on your right to post sensitive state secrets on the internet. You can just do it and outrage everyone.
So if the argument is why do some people get a ‘privilege’ while others do not, well then you’ve got something. My point is why do we even need the state involved in licensing marriage in the first place? Aren’t we all grown-up enough to enter into relationships without State-sanction? The average mortgage last longer than most marriages and we don’t need a special license to enter into that arrangement (well maybe the bank does, but then they also get a bail-out). So what is the state doing in the marriage business?
It is absurd a Liberal government (in the classic sense, not the modern socialist system) should license or in anyway pretend to regulate marriage. How better to demonstrate this absurdity than for the Politically Korrect state to decide who should be marrying whom. It’s like watching idiots make their way down stairs while wearing roller skates.
The Catholic church considers marriage a Rite which differs from a Right. The state should no more be involved licenses marriages than it is Baptism, Holy Communion, Holy Orders, or Last Rites. What business is it of the state what rites any organization practices so long as no laws are broken, the peace is maintained, and the taxes are paid. And if you don’t like the rites of any given organization, such as the Catholic church, why in this country you have a constitutionally protected right to associate yourself with any organization that will have you, just as they have the same constitutionally protected right not to.
You’re just going to have to live with it.
Why is in the government in the marriage business? I believe because, by necessity, government is in the divorce business. If the union goes to hell, those who entered a legally binding, government approved marriage have property and custody rights better defined and protected than those who did not.
Since this blog post wasn’t really about gay marriage, but how people judge conservative Christians, I’m going to ignore this incoherence. (I’m referring to Hunter’s reply.)
Very true, but it was a very interesting, well written side bar!
Fine,
I’ll just go back to sharpening my pitch-fork…