George Clooney, who is the second-fastest in the world at making my knees weak, was arrested the other day for protesting. The protesting and arresting parts were not particularly newsy, as everyone, including Elmer The Basset Hound understands that this was a planned event that worked exactly as he intended, which was to call attention to the protest. So not a big deal, right? (Elmer wags twice in affirmation.)

According to Jezebel.com, the real news and subsequent speculation was this:

According to a hasty TMZ airport interview, George Clooney used his one phone call from jail to talk to his mommy, a possible indication that an intimate (maybe even Norman Bates-like because who really knows?) maternal bond has been responsible for the leading man’s inability to commit long-term to just one woman. Good luck with all that, Stacy Keibler.

Nonsense. Ms. Kiebler may have all kinds of things to worry about, but not that. I’m certain that Mr. C attended to all kinds of details pre-protest, up to and including arranging to be sprung from the hoosegow promptly after he was booked. Ten dollars says he neglected to alert his mother he was going to be in the news for going to the slammer, so he called her immediately as any good son would do, so she didn’t have a seizure at the sight of the first headline.

Sons, Interrupted: take note. It’s this kind of attention to detail that mothers really appreciate.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering: Who, pray tell, is first in the Knees Weakening Department for me? To whom must George Clooney defer in the quest for my affection?

Dad, Interrupted, of course.

Duh.

© E. Stocking Evans 2012