First off, let me just say that I detest the word ‘boobie.’ It makes me cringe on all levels, even when we’re referring to the bird of the same name.

But I cringe even harder when the word is used to describe a woman’s breasts. (It should be noted that I dislike the word, not the speaker…if you’re a confirmed ‘boobie’ sayer, I still love ya.) But the very word brings up the image of inflatable tub toys and four year olds, and if I were in an intimate setting with a man who tried to incorporate it into pillow talk my libido would flee, shrieking, as it would be difficult to convince my libido that I was actually in bed with someone of legal age.

So I was not disappointed to see that some schools are cracking down on the wearing of bracelets distributed by the Keep A Breast organization that proudly proclaim “I [heart] boobies.” The organization admits that the campaign is aimed at youth, and I think that youth involvement in breast cancer awareness is a fine thing. [Full disclosure: my mother is a twenty-year breast cancer survivor. I’m a big fan of awareness.]

But there’s that word, that I just shudder when I hear anyone older than say, five, say. If the bracelets said, “I [heart] breasts” I’d be much more supportive, as I am a big fan of using the real words for real body parts. For the record, I eschew the use of the words ‘ta-tas’, ‘girls,’ ‘twins,’ as well. I don’t like using the word ‘dick’ as a euphemism (if you can even call it that) for ‘penis,’ unless I’m really thinking that the man in question is behaving like one. In a similar vein, it’s a VAGINA, not a ‘va-jay-jay.’

But back to boobie bracelets: one student, up in arms about censorship and the like, said that he or she wears “like, 47” of these promotional bracelets. Word or not, forty-seven of anything is probably a distraction.

And most of all I have to wonder: pink promotional bracelets supporting breast cancer awareness have been around since about ten minutes after Lance Armstrong started the whole Livestrong thing. Was any high school student wearing “like, 47” of THOSE? No? Not surprised.

It makes me think that if the word ‘boobies’ hadn’t been included, with all its attendant shock value, no one would be wearing them. It’s not about breast cancer…it’s all about the boobies.

© E.S. Evans 2010