This isn’t my joke; I wish it were….

A wealthy businessman comes home to his estate after a lengthy trip to Europe. The butler meets him at the door and, as he’s taking off his coat and hat, the businessman asks him how everything is at home.

The butler says, “The cat died.”

“WHAT????”

“Well, he got up on the roof and he wouldn’t come down and refused food and he finally died.”

The businessman is furious. He says, “You shouldn’t just hit me with news like that when I walk in the door. I called frequently from my trip, and you could have prepared me for this. The first time I called, you could have said, ‘The cat’s up on the roof and won’t come down.’ The next time, you say, ‘He’s still up on the roof.’ And *then* when I come home, you can say, ‘The cat died,’ and I’d have been prepared for it.

“Sheesh.”

The butler says, “Yes, sir. Very good, sir.”

Still kind of ticked, the businessman says, “Where’s my wife?”

The butler hesitates, and then says, “She’s up on the roof and she won’t come down.”