He was gorgeous once, in a quirky sort of way. Exactly the sort of way that makes me stop short and look twice. Which I don’t do often.

I’ve been watching a lot of NCIS lately (I have a not-so-secret crush on Mark Harmon’s portrayal of Gibbs). And USA has been running non-stop Law & Order ads, featuring their new addition, Jeff Goldblum.

Who went out and had himself an eye job.

Look: I know he was never gonna look like Earth Girls Are Easy again. But to disturb that gorgeous quirkiness, even as it ages…it’s just criminal.

He should arrest himself on Law & Order.

NB: Once again, I edit myself to point out that the testimonial specifically disclaims that he did not have an eye job. But *my* eyes don’t lie.