So there I was, sitting in Starbucks, waiting for J to show up so we could have our traditional weekend coffee/chat/therapy session, and I do what I normally do: I surf the web on my phone.

Now, my teeny-weeny phone has a teen-weeny screen, but the picture accompanying this story was sufficiently big enough to make me do a coffee spew all over it.

Simply put:

Kristin Davis (of Sex and the City fame) has posed for Fitness magazine in a bikini. I bear her no ill will for that. She takes care of herself, and thus has the body that would support such a feat. I do not take such good care of myself, and there is no jurisdiction in the world that has zoning that would support my butt in a bikini in public, much less hanging out on a magazine cover.

No, it’s the quote that’s killing me. The main thrust of the story, if you will, is that Kristin declares that she will never be the skinniest actress in Hollywood, and she’s okay with that (and I, too, am still okay at this point). Because, you see, she actually comes out and says, and now I’m quoting Ms. Davis:

“I have hips.”

Do me a favor, please, and view the linked story and photo here and tell me where the eff the HIPS are in that picture?

Because *I* too, have hips and letmetellyouinternetz: Those are not hips.

Maybe she had rose hips in her purse, which would look like this.

I will endeavor to give Ms. Davis the benefit of the doubt.

NB: Because I’m such a good journalist, I actually read some of the comments in the blog that features the linked picture of KD, and am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you to discover that this image was probably photoshopped.

Desperate to dig into the truth, I found a picture that actually confirms this ‘hip’ thing KD keeps yammering about, and here it is.

So I’m still ticked off, but not at Kristin. Now I’m hacked off at the people who did this photoshoppy thing. And I’m a little hacked off that I can’t find where KD is hacked at the photoshoppy people for their trickery.

/rantoff