You’re standing on the beach, minding your own business, and then this.

Words are failing me at this point. The story, with its matter-of-fact details (the coroner is racking up feet in his office this very minute; left feet float differently than right feet…how on earth does anyone know this kind of thing? Just how often does this question come up, for God’s sake?) is one of those where you sit at your computer for awhile with your mouth hanging open.