I completely lost the link to this, but it surfaced in The Knot in early March and it just. blows. me. away.

Apparently The Knot (Mom, that’s a popular website for brides) runs a feature where a wedding-related individual surfaces with a piece of advice, presumably bad, that she’s been given. The Knot, in their infinite wisdom, supplies *better* advice.

And sometimes they afford us a glimpse of The Impending Apocalypse.

Here’s the Bad Advice: 

“I was recently a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding. I’m also engaged and was amazed when she told me I couldn’t wear my engagement ring during her wedding because it was larger than hers…ridiculous!” —Scarlet, Longview, TX

Okay, so I’m thinking that better advice would be to drop out of the wedding because this ‘friend’ of yours has turned into a complete megalomaniac and will no doubt lay waste to entire villages as she cuts a wide swath of destruction in her rampage to the altar. But let’s see what The Knot had to say!

The Knot’s *Better* Advice: 
Being upstaged by a bridesmaid can be a very real fear for some brides. Handle the situation gently — explain that you’d rather not take off the ring for personal reasons. If she persists, remove it to avoid more drama. 

Mom, Interrupted’s Advice
Run far. Run fast. If this ‘friend’ can’t understand the significance of a freaking engagement ring (“personal reasons”? I need to invoke “personal reasons” as a reason why I don’t want to take it off???) then there is no telling what kind of petulant demands she’s going to make in service to Her Day, like some sort of tyrannical, minor god demanding more tribute from her tribe.

This is a joke, right? If the Bridezilla thinks that an entire church full of people are going to be so mesmerized by the disco ball on her bridesmaid’s hand that they will forget to look at said Bridezilla, Bridezilla actually should be humored? What if Bridezilla gets it up her nose that no one in the venue should be prettier than her? It’s okay, honey! We’ll just decapitate the ones who offend you, to avoid more drama.

Please. Say it isn’t so. Because if it is, actually, so and this is what weddings have sunk to, I advocate simply tranquilizing brides outright and delivering them, comatose, to their appointed trysts, since letting them get upset is to be avoided at all costs lest their tiaras spontaneously combust and take us all down in flames.

It is famously said that the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Well, the only thing necessary for crazy brides to triumph is for the rest of us to put up with this stuff to avoid more drama. It’s time we drew a line in the sand, right here, with our eye-popping engagement rings and take a stand against the crazy.

 

 

©     E.S. Evans 2008